While we're on the subject, I've had the [gulp] pleasure of visiting a Super Wal-Mart lately. And let me tell you. I hate it.

Hate it.

Hate it.

It's not the people... or the fact that the place has been open two months and is already filthy... or the lack of employees who can help you find things. Hell, you can find that in any Wal-Mart. It's par for the course when you're visiting a Wal-Mart. No, no, the problem is much more fundamental. And, though I've never been in them, I can't imagine it's any better in a Super Target or Super K-Mart.

The problem is this:

I don't think we should be able to buy Sansibelt pants and canola oil in the same building, much less across the aisle from each other. Unless we're at a flea market.

Shopping should not be a carnival of the absurd where people pack house paint, dairy products and a new set of work boots in the same shopping cart.

Super Wal-Mart seems to me to go against the very laws of nature. It warps reality- I see gang wars where the Grocery people have a West Side Story-esque rumble against Hardware folks;
Where Housewares and Home & Garden battle it out for supremacy among the racks of ladies' underwear;
Someone breaks open the sporting goods display case and-
Blam.
Boom.
Rat-a-tat-tat.
Bullet-riddled bodies strewn across the aisles.

Wal-Mart is the number one gun retailer in the world.

Could you live with yourself? Knowing that kind of carnage was happening in your own back yards, the strip malls you take your children to?

Fight back, America.
Fight back against this freakish super-consumerism.
Fight to save our souls and our selves from warehouse shopping and, most importantly, to save ourselves from buying Sansibelt pants.

Tags: humor, pop culture, rants
hey little fella, how are you doing today?: discontent
soundtrack: Soundgarden- "Black Hole Sun"