lambiepod

My list of worst movies ever:

Lost Highway- David Lynch at his most incoherent. The guy with the video camera... the whole thing was just retarded. Not even cute and amusing retarded, like Corky from Life Goes On. More like, "Oh my God, could this possibly be emitting rays that will make me or my future children retarded?"

The Thin Red Line- I went there expecting Saving Private Ryan Pt. 2, and instead, I got "Trees, Grass, and Jim Caviziel Up Close; a 3-Hour Infiniti Commercial."

Stepmom- I actually broke into hysterical laughter when Susan Sarandon (whom I believe peaked with Bull Durham) tearfully confessed to her family that she had terminal cancer. I could practically hear the screenwriter sitting in a boardroom, saying to a the producer, "OK, the audience is going to be bawling right here." That sort of self-conscious emotionalism aggravates the hell out of me.

Battlefield Earth- I actually read the book (all 1,000 pages), before I realized that I hate L. Rob Hubbard and all his freaky Scientologist puppets. And I was curious about the movie. This may have been the most certifiably awful sci-fi movie ever. It makes The Guyver look like the second coming of Star Wars. (Coincidentally, both of those movies star Mark Hamill.)

The Lawnmower Man- I'm a huge, huge Stephen King fan. However, I am not a fan of "The Lawnmower Man" as a short story, even though I find the idea of a naked guy chasing a possessed lawnmower while eating diced gopher to be vaguely humorous. But this movie had less than nothing to do with the story. It's like saying Rocky is based on "The Wealth of Nations." Even worse, it starred Pierce Brosnan, who I think is the second best Bond. But worst of all, this one actually did well enough that they made a sequel, which starred another of my favorites, Max Headroom himself, Matt Frewer.

hey little fella, how are you doing today?: cheerful
soundtrack: Eric Clapton - Blues Leave Me Alone