Dearest Senator DeLay-

You are a douche bag. You're a fucking dick and a lying hypocrite. It's you and people like you that alienate young Republican voters with your ridiculous assertions like "people are shooting in court rooms to protest activist judges," and "we're going to regulate satellite radio and cable TV if we can just figure out a way to make it legal." Fuck you. Fucking your whole fucking party. Fuck you Democrats too, for not providing a reasonable alternative. Fuck this whole fucking two-party system right in its bright red and blue asshole.

But DeLay, you're a real son of a bitch. So, let's get this straight- you're committed to upholding the moral fiber of American life, but you take money from lobbyists to fund your vacations? You think Terri Schaivo, vegetable lady, has a full and productive life ahead of her, but can't wait to flip the switch on teenage murderers who might very well be salvageable?

Fuck you. Fuck your whole fucking state, too.

And you Baby Boomers- who the hell do you think you are? We know you. In the 60s, you people invented LSD, hippies and free love. You glorified cocaine and The Carpenters (which may have been your gravest crime) in the 70s; materialism and shoulderpads in the 80s. In the 90s, you glorified the sex you were no longer having because of the STD epidemics that your generation proliferated. Now, in the 21st century, you want to legislate morality? You want to tell us what we can watch on TV, where we can smoke a cigarette, which words are OK to say in public and which are not? Please. Tell me why it's OK for you to drive your gas-guzzling Hummer SUV to and from work every day, but I can't watch a TV show that says the word "shit" in it? This self-righteousness is bullshit. I was there when you were raising your children. I saw.

I saw you let your kids watch Rambo seal a shrapnel wound in his gut with gunpowder. I saw your kids indulged and given every little trinket and toy you could stuff in their rooms. I saw how you made excuses for them instead of punishing them. I saw you applaud when Nancy Reagan showed up on Diff'rnt Strokes and say, "gee, she really does care." I was there when your kids were explaining to each other what "FUBAR" meant and shouting "no more yankie my wankie." Fuck you.

And you know what? It's too late. Your whole generation has experimented with every avenue of excess opened to you for fifty years and this hyper-liberalism and hyper-conservatism is just one more example of it. Get over yourselves. A whole generation of children who now feel guilty for being the shitheads that you were, so you're going to legislate everything for all the rest of us now.

I could look at this country and this world with a little bit of optimism if I could get past the fact that you red and blue morons keep tossing rocks at each other's tree forts and will continue to do so for the next twenty years until you're displaced.

Tags: current events, politics, rants
hey little fella, how are you doing today?: sick